He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize