I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize