i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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