One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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