idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize