Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
