Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
