She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
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