Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
