is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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