You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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