i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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