yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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