Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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