ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
