2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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