only if we run a train.
done.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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