This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
