I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
