Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
