umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
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