real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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