His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just gargled with NyQuil
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize