Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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