My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
