You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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