Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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