I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
