Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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