when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
