Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
