what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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