O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize