i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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