meet me or not, i'm out of control
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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