is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
