i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
