i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
