everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
