you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
