you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
