you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
