dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Did I show you my penis last night?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
