Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
