Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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