She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I deserve this hangover.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
