Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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