I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize