Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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