who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
