i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
i think im in europe. pls send help
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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