remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
