Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
True strength comes from lack of pants
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
