he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize