38 yer olds are good kisserssss
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
