Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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