I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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