Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You ate ashes out of my bong
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Congratulations! We have a period
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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