he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
