Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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