Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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