sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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